Angie: Robert, Why is our sweet bundle of joy crying again?
Robert: Because she’s a punk. It’s 4AM, that’s what she does.
Angie: Make her stop.
Robert: YOU make her stop. Feed her. She’s hungry.
Angie: I just fed her two minutes ago.
Robert: Well, she’s sucking on her fists again, she must be hungry.
Angie: No seriously, I’ve BEEN feeding her for two hours. She can’t POSSIBLY be hungry. I think she has gas. Let’s rub her tummy.
[Robert and Angie take turns rubbing Nila’s tummy so as to push any gas downwards.]
[Nila obliges by returning the loudest and longest fart noises ever]
[Robert and Angie giggle as if they’ve never heard a fart noise before]
Robert: I call not changing that diaper!