I don’t know how it is that I haven’t figured this out after almost 30 years. It’s like there’s some ingredient in the food that causes you to EAT it, and then FORGET the experience altogether, like the flashy pen thing from Men in Black. McDonald’s food is NOT good, even when is IS “good,” (and you know what I mean by “good” because the crazy clown has his “good” days and his “bad” days and on his “good” days you kind of “like” him). But even then, it’s not GOOD.
I had McDonald’s tonight. 10 nuggets and a medium fry. And that’s a lot for me, truthfully. Normally, I wouldn’t eat all of that, but I was hungry. Ronald was on top of his game tonight, too, so good for him. But I wanted to die afterwards! First of all, I don’t have ROOM in my stomach for TEN nuggets and a medium fry right now! Maybe FOUR and a small fry! But ten “all white” nuggets and sauce, a box of golden strings and their accompanying grease? No way. I literally had to sit on the couch all still and silent for twenty minutes before I could move to put my plate away! How disgusting is that!
I hate you Ronald McDonald. And that’s saying a lot, because you know the history we have. Remember the birthday party? The almost winning a million dollars after band practice? Just hanging out with the crew after games? Yeah. We’ve had some good times, right? But you’re just not VALUABLE. You lie, and you make me feel like trash every time we meet. The ONLY thing that you do well – ice cream cones. You pretty much nail that every time. Oh, and your house for sick kids and their families. That’s a good thing going. Keep that up.
So this was it for me. Red, you got my last $4.07 tonight. May I never know the taste of McNastiness and feel that familiar McDisappointment after one of your meals or have to wait on the couch for the mandatory McWaitingPeriod to wear off again… Good bye old “friend”…