08.01 | The McTummy & McStomachAche


I don’t know how it is that I haven’t figured this out after almost 30 years. It’s like there’s some ingredient in the food that causes you to EAT it, and then FORGET the experience altogether, like the flashy pen thing from Men in Black. McDonald’s food is NOT good, even when is IS “good,” (and you know what I mean by “good” because the crazy clown has his “good” days and his “bad” days and on his “good” days you kind of “like” him). But even then, it’s not GOOD.

I had McDonald’s tonight. 10 nuggets and a medium fry. And that’s a lot for me, truthfully. Normally, I wouldn’t eat all of that, but I was hungry. Ronald was on top of his game tonight, too, so good for him. But I wanted to die afterwards! First of all, I don’t have ROOM in my stomach for TEN nuggets and a medium fry right now! Maybe FOUR and a small fry! But ten “all white” nuggets and sauce, a box of golden strings and their accompanying grease? No way. I literally had to sit on the couch all still and silent for twenty minutes before I could move to put my plate away! How disgusting is that!

I hate you Ronald McDonald. And that’s saying a lot, because you know the history we have. Remember the birthday party? The almost winning a million dollars after band practice? Just hanging out with the crew after games? Yeah. We’ve had some good times, right? But you’re just not VALUABLE. You lie, and you make me feel like trash every time we meet. The ONLY thing that you do well – ice cream cones.  You pretty much nail that every time. Oh, and your house for sick kids and their families. That’s a good thing going. Keep that up.

So this was it for me. Red, you got my last $4.07 tonight. May I never know the taste of McNastiness and feel that familiar McDisappointment after one of your meals or have to wait on the couch for the mandatory McWaitingPeriod to wear off again…  Good bye old “friend”…


5 thoughts on “08.01 | The McTummy & McStomachAche

  1. Maybe I am crazy, oh Pregnant one, but did it take 20 minutes before you ate that piece of cake and promptly passed out? Thank you for saying good bye to Ronald. If I am going to be sympathy eating with you, I prefer classier joints 🙂

  2. 😦 Mc Donald’s fries are so tasty…but I can agree with them making you feel nasty…i felt that way last time I ate there. The ice cream? yeah, can’t give up on that one.

    Seriously when this little one is born, I am so going to limit the trips tot hat place.

    But thanks, cause now you have me craving their fries and ice cream…thanks alot. 🙂

  3. You’re right about the quality of their food. I once worked with a woman who called the “sausage” on their biscuits kangaroo meat. And you know, I don’t think she was far off on that one.

    They do have some good things (ie, Ronald McDonald House, etc.), but I was just turned off after watching “Supersize Me” (by a fellow WVian, no less!) this past Christmas season. Seriously, it makes you think twice about eating out, especially @ Mickey D’s.

  4. okay I must be the crazy one I LOVE MICKEYD’S. THE DBL CHEESEBURGERS, THE BIG MAC, THE FRIES!!!! Of course I love White Castle too, so go figure!!

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